You can't motorboat a personality
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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