Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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