I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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