Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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