It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
