No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
