put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
