I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I supernannyed him into submission
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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