Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
