I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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