If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
