great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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