What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
