but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
