Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
