I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
