How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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