"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
