He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
