No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize