I just made out with a guy for $7.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
