But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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