my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
