how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize