I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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