Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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