Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it's great music for shaving your balls
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
