Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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