Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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