Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
