have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
