she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
