the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize