I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
