Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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