yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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