so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
