i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
