You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
