Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
