More tranny stories later!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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