I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
