haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
