You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
