we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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