he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
