i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There r osticjed everywhere
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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