Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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