Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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