singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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