His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
