I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Nicole vs. Life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have aggressive nipples.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
