can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
