This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
