Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
