2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
