Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
