Your face is a jimmy john
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
