Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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