your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
