i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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